Back when I went to the gym religiously (last year and in a different city), there was a guy at the gym that I really wanted to talk to. He looked to be in his late teens/early 20's and was at the gym quite often. What set him apart was that he weighed somewhere in the 300+ range by my estimate.
He was losing weight and working hard to do it, and I really wanted to say something to encourage him/let him know he was getting noticeable results. Once, a personal trainer who was working next to me said to her client, "Keep it up and you'll be looking like E. here before too long!" Obviously she knew me, but maybe she wasn't just being nice. That really made me feel good to think I was getting results and I wanted to say something similar to this guy.
I never did. Mostly it was because of my shyness, but I also didn't want to make him feel self-conscious. I asked myself, "Would you say something to a guy who was at the gym everyday and weighed 200?" No, I wouldn't, even if I did notice a change. So I didn't say anything to this guy, thinking he would know I was singling him out only because of his size.
I often wonder though if I should have said something. He might not have ever heard anyone congratulate him or encourage him to keep it up. I know it took a lot of courage for him just to walk in the gym and be surrounded by fit people and possibly feel so out of place, let alone to keep it up. Sometimes I feel like I missed an opportunity to boost someone's day, and other times I think I did the right thing by not giving him attention that may have been unwanted. What do you think?
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I single them out (the big ones for lack of a better term) and tell them that they are doing a great job and looking really good. They seem to respond very well, like the encouragement, and usually seem quite surprised by me(maybe because I have a tendancy to seem intimidating especially at the gym).
I figure most of them dream of looking the way I do and I would love for that to become a reality for them, most importantly that they feel as good about themselves as I do.
With that said, "Now, plese get off my machine". :) LOL
I smile and nod at everyone that I see regularly, regardless of size or fitness. To me, it is about feeling like you "belong" in your gym, like you have earned your place by persistance and dedication. If people acknowledge me, I feel a bit of accountability, like I might be missed if I don't show up again tomorrow. I don't want to be singled out for my fitness level, although I am always thrilled to share ideas if someone is curious about my balance disks, or something funky I might be doing. I think most just want to know that they fit in and belong there as much as anyone else. Myself included. My gym is not girl friendly in the free weight area.
Oddly enough, I've never been intimidated by the men and/or the free weight room. It's certainly not because I look like I belong there! I'm guessing it's because I had to lift weights during Jr High/High school track practice along with the guys. Maybe I was exposed early enough that it doesn't bother me. That, or growing up with 4 brothers made me feel like one of the guys, no matter what setting.
Oh, I'm not intimidated; more like irritated. First the gym doesn't have 1/2 pound increment dumb bells. Nor, do they have smaller weighted easy and straight barbells. There isn't even a box to reach the pull-up bar. I have to carry over a 35 pd dumbell to stand on so that I can jump to catch one pull-up handle and then swing to catch the other. Then I get to do my set of pull-ups. Quite a sight, I'm sure. I should get extra credit.
The guys just kind of crowd me and there isn't much consideration. I have never had any problem standing my ground. In the past, I have always been "one of the guys." In fact, it is much more likely that I will lift with men because I tend to lift heavy. I am used to being able to ask for a spot at any time. Here, I just take up space.
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